I have been asked this question on meditation multiple times by friends and colleagues. Meditation to me is like spinach to Popeye the sailor man.
There are quite a few areas to explain when it comes to sharing the how and why, so I’m going to break this post down to several parts.
Let’s start with a little story.
About 5 or 6 years ago, I was a very frustrated youth. I got angry and annoyed by so many things. There was seemingly nothing that couldn’t trigger me.
I sometimes spoke my mind when others preferred that I kept my opinion to myself. Other times, I would go ahead and do the opposite of what was expected of me, just to straight out rebel.
For example, my parents didn’t like the idea of me skipping A/Ls (that’s the exam you take to get your placement to university in Sri Lanka). So I negotiated and convinced my parents that if I manage to get good results on my O/Ls, I get to decide what career path is right for me. I skipped A/Ls, completed a degree in Software Engineering and started my career when I was 17.
Even when it came to my political beliefs — I always sided with dictators and people that society tends to look at with a lifted eyebrow. The reason for this, simply being my want to rebel.
However, good things did come from all this.
When I was working at WSO2, I was using a technology called Jaggery (an alternative way of writing backend software). I got sick of the inner mechanics of the technology that I ended up writing an alternative to it called Goose.js (based on my then-favorite vodka, Grey Goose).
To make matters worse, I realized these libraries under WTFPL. Our CEO at the time got mad at me because the company policy was to always release things on Apache license.
These acts of rebellion, confusion, and annoyance got me started on all sorts of battles. I dabbled with marketing for 2 years (2016, 2017) and during these two years, my frustration was so much that I got together with few people and started a company.
So yes, me getting frustrated at problems also got me started on the long path of solving them.
The problem with this personality of mine is that it requires some sort of control. Without control, I’d be picking every battle that comes my way. A good example of this is me fighting against eclairs for evening snacks at my previous workplace.
| FYI I still hate Eclairs ☹️
So I started meditating.
At the start, this was super difficult. Mostly because the type of meditating that I was taught at school and in Buddhism is to Breathe In and Breathe Out. This was useful at first but wasn’t enough to keep my attention.
I was fully focused on each breath, which made me breathe consciously. The point of the meditation is to notice the breath when it naturally enters and leaves your body.
After I began my practice, I did notice a big difference. And that was that I was n’t getting triggered as much.
I ended up skipping on my meditations, multiple times. And I could feel the repercussions of this.
At the end of the night, I’d feel more anxious. Very stressed out. The more I skipped my daily meditation practice, the harder it got for me to meditate every day. It became one of those spirals.
Back in August 2017, I was burnt out after 6 months of entrepreneurship and decided that I need to take some serious action. I went on a meditation retreat for 7 days to the hill country. The retreat happened in a remote place where you are far away from distraction and everyone spoke next to nothing. The retreat handled all my food and lodging so I didn’t have to worry about it.
We woke up at 4:30 in the morning and started meditating and had breaks in-between. The meditations would go on till 10 in the night. Then you go back to sleep and wake up again at 4:30 AM.
The first 2 days were extremely difficult. I felt like getting in my car in the middle of the night and sneaking away. This is because once you meditate for more than 4 to 5 hours you start to feel empty in your mind and that can be a very scary thought.
On the 4th day, I started to realize a big difference. I could notice whenever there is chatter happening early morning when I am about to take a shower. Or chatter happening in the mind when I am going back to sleep. This incredible level of introspection was like having a superpower.
After the retreat, I came back to Colombo and started work on Monday.
I felt a lot calmer than before. Handling uncertainty (which is almost synonymous with entrepreneurship) became much easier.
I also noticed a visible level of improvement in my planning skills. Previously I used to think of each day as a single day but after the retreat, I was able to think about 3 months ahead or even 6 months ahead. This was quite useful.
So what is my daily practice at the moment?
I do 15 minutes of meditation every day and I keep track of this in my bullet journal. This keeps me accountable to stay on the right track. My goal is to have 30 minutes of meditation every day. I still have a long way to go.
As for the apps I use for meditation — on iOS there is an app called Still that helps you to put a timer and a chime every 5 minutes.
It’s easy to start your practice.
For a beginner, my recommendation is to first do Breathe In and Breathe Out meditation for 5 minutes and expand this to 15 minutes daily.
Afterward, you have 2 options — one is to use Headspace or a similar guided meditation app to improve your practice or go on a meditation retreat. If you need a recommendation for a meditation retreat, don’t hesitate to reach out to me on Twitter at @dulitharw.
If you feel like you never have enough time, go on.
Set your timer, and focus on your breathing.
Take 5 minutes right now.
“If you are quiet enough, you will hear the flow of the universe. You will feel its rhythm. Go with this flow. Happiness lies ahead. Meditation is key.” — Buddha
